You guys know about Nerdette, right? Although, I honestly have issues with the word “Nerd” like I have issues with the word “foodie”, I make a concession for Nerdette. And Wil Wheaton. But that’s it. No one else get’s to call me a nerd, okay? I have internal emotional scars from the 80’s about the word “nerd”.
- I was that kid who did the Regent’s math books over the summer… for fun.
- I was the kid who was the victim of the “go tell her you like her and invite her to the dance and when it’s actually time for the dance, pretend you have no idea who she is” gag.
- And the one who always fell for the “let’s pretend to be her friend and then totally make her say something stupid and dorky and then pick on her mercilessly forever” prank.
When I read Carrie I totally understood how she felt. Well, except for that super religious crazy nutter for a mom part. But the whole “teased until you want to fall into a hole” thing? I get it.
There was this one time
at band camp in my eight grade English class where we had to do a presentation in front of the whole class. I was in the honors program (nerd alert) which meant I got to see all of the same kids all day, every day and yes, I was the dorkiest of all of them (at least that’s how I felt).
I did my presentation on computers. This would have been about 1984. Let’s get a little perspective on where computers were in 1984, shall we? There was no internet, no smart phones and not every home had a computer. They were just rolling out WYSIWYG for crying out loud. I’d like to think I was ahead of my classmates on this front. (nerd alert!)
Anyway, I started out strong.. and shaky.. but strong! Until my 13 year old mouth failed me. I was supposed to say “This computer has two disks”. (Sidebar: for you younglings who stumbled here by accident, this is a disk. It was floppy. And big and stored very little).
My silly little 13 year old mouth, terrified of making a mistake… totally nervous, said … (and remember, in front of a room full of 13 year olds just waiting for an excuse to pick on me)…
This computer has two dicks.
I’m not kidding. If I could have melted into the floor right then, I would have. In fact, years later, in 10th grade, in a new school where I had ACTUAL friends, I sacrificed my 3.7 grade average and willingly took a zero on our “ten minute speech” project. I feel it’s important to mention that my average would have been 4.0 except for that darn gym class. (nerd alert)
Every week, Nerdette asks for listeners to call in with their “nerd confessions” and since we have now firmly established that I am not a talker… I’m a typer, I just tweeted mine out.
— Pirate Jeni (@PirateJeni) June 19, 2014
I have way more than this, but this one is kind of my favorite because people are always trying to figure out what those letters are.. you can’t .. unless you know the Klingon alphabet. Well, imagine my surprise when Nerdette tweeted back and said I totally had to call in.
@PirateJeni YES seriously! You’re such a good nerd! And you can be totes anonym. This convo in the public doman NEVER HAPPENED.
— Nerdette Podcast (@NerdettePodcast) June 20, 2014
It took me a week to work up the courage… and I called from my car in the parking lot at work at the moment when I decided I would just do it.. just do it.. what’s the worst that happens? They don’t use it?
— Pirate Jeni (@PirateJeni) June 26, 2014
They used it.
They totally did! and! and! and! the used it at the end of what is probably my favorite podcast to date. It should also be noted that Nina Simone sings a song that was part of the inspiration for my internet alias. So, this was so super cool.
Listen to the whole thing. Learn about these amazing women and what they have done to change the face of America. I didn’t know who Nellie Bly was.. and I find her awe inspiring. Nina Simone put her voice out there to the world and sang about Civil Rights and she didn’t do it “like a lady” and Georgia O’Keefe showed the world that women could be artists too.
And if you really can’t wait to hear my lovely voice, jump ahead to 25:04, but go back and listen to the entire podcast after. Okay? because you should.