I stand corrected

Many many years ago, I worked with a woman who was obsessed with losing weight (I know.. you’re surprised because there is only one woman on the earth obsessed with losing weight right?). She was reading some health food book or something that basically said GIVE UP RED MEAT! EAT VEGGIES TIL YOU TURN GREEN! EAT LOTS OF FAT-FREE GRANOLA AND BREAD WITH NO BUTTER! HUZZAH! YOU WILL BE THIN AND GORGEOUS!

Or.. in her case, sluggish, miserable and spacey.

For the purposes of this story, let’s call her Princess Anemia.

Princess Anemia had a habit of cornering me and telling me all about what she had for dinner the night before and how GOOD it was.. and how HEALTHY! I’m like, yah, keep talking.. you might eventually believe it if you say it often enough.  I  got pretty tired of hearing about her chicken pieces “stir fried” in fat free stock and steamed broccoli with nothing on it.. I cannot imagine how boring her food must have been.

One day she came in the office, looking all pasty, wan and glassy eyed from hunger and just RAVING about some dessert she made the night before.

“Oh my gawd!” said Princess Anemia, while leaning against the cubicle wall for support. “You would not believe how FANTASTIC this dessert is! and HEALTHY!”

I mumbled something like “That’s nice” hoping that would discourage the ravings of a woman who seriously needed an iron infusion.

Princess Anemia continued in her shrill, yet slightly weak voice “It’s SO SIMPLE! You take a banana and freeze it and put in in the blender and it tastes JUST LIKE ICE CREAM!”

Let us not forget that I have been fooled by this sort of thing before. I raised an eyebrow, titled my head and gave her my best Spock impression, hoping she would interpret this as “Fascinating” instead of what was really going on in my head.


bitch, please

Yeah, I used to be polite… I got over it.

Aaaaanywho, she rambled on and on and on and I mmhmmm’d and smiled and eyebrow lifted… and in my head I wanted to say.. Look, it’s a fucking banana.. it’s going to taste like a banana.. and I don’t even LIKE bananas.. so shaddup shaddup shaddup about the damn faux banana ice cream.. it’s a BANANA!

Many things have changed since then. I have gotten on my own personal “health kick” but it does not involve fat free anything.. EVER. It involves whole, minimally processed foods.. and I have even learned to love bananas.

While perusing blogs a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon this post from The Kitchn which explained how to make “ice cream” from a banana and suddenly, freakishly I heard Princess Anemia in my head, “It’s SO GOOOOOOD!”

What the hell.. I learned to love spaghetti squash even though it doesn’t taste like spaghetti.. what’s the worst that happens?

You guys? IT TASTES LIKE THE BEST FUCKING ICE CREAM EVAR!

(DISCLAIMER: I have not had ice cream in a very long time. My perception may be skewed just a little bit, but probably not.)

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Princess Anemia Ice Cream
 
A no sugar added option to ice cream. Nut butter adds protein to offset the natural sugars in the fruit. For an extra treat, stir in some chocolate chips or raisins
Ingredients
  • 4 medium ripe bananas
  • ¼ cup nut butter of your choosing
Instructions
  1. Peel and slice the bananas in ½ to ¾ inch coins.
  2. Arrange on a single layer on parchment paper on a cookie sheet or baking dish
  3. Freeze for about 2 hours.
  4. Pulse bananas in a food processor. You may need to scrape down the sides. It may even form a blob of stuff. Just smoosh it with a spatula and soldier on.
  5. When bananas are smooth, add the nut butter and process until incorporated. Do not over mix or your nanners will get too warm
  6. Scoop and serve.
Notes
Leftovers (hahaha!) can be frozen for later. Do yourself a favor and put some plastic wrap or parchment paper on the surface to help prevent freezer burn.

 

Sausage Bean Florentine Soup

Sausage Bean Florentine

I adore warm, comforting, easy to throw together soups.  I also love stocking my freezer.  Let’s face it, cooking anything cuts into my Mario Kart time.  Sometimes, I just need a quick and hearty lunch or meal and yanking a quart of soup out of the freezer, especially one that is loaded with meat and beans is just plain awesome.

You will find the amounts of ingredients kind of nebulous.  That’s because soups, in my opinion, are really about what you like in them. I like hot and spicy and loaded full of goodies.

Start by taking your sausage out of the casings (sidebar: I usually grab them in the middle, pinch and sort of smoosh it out each side…  sort of like milking a cow.. and no I’m not going to tell you how I know how to do that) and toss it in your stockpot .. which of course you have already heated up and added oil too… Keep up.. I ramble incoherently a lot.   Also chuck your garlic and onion in there.

Sausage and Garlic and Onions OH MY!

Mmm… porky goodness

Chop the frozen spinach.. and by chop I mean beat the crap out of it while it’s in the bag.  Um.. don’t thaw it first..

Chopping Frozen Spinach

HULK SMASH!

Go ahead and dump that right in the pot there. Stir it up.

Frozen Spinach

oooh.. Frosty!

Pour in the chicken stock. Get the good stuff.

Store bought chicken stock: when you’re too lazy to make your own

Also, when you get tired of waiting for that stock to glug out of there.. just stab it.

Finger placement not indicative of actual recommendation

Don’t put your fingers like that okay? If I had an extra hand, you’d have a more accurate picture of how it should be done.. but alas, I only have two hands. Also? PHYSICS FOR THE WIN!

*ahem*

Rinse your beans.

Insert clever caption here

Add them to the pot. Add more stock if you think you need it. Heat your soup through and eat!

Freeze leftovers.

This right here is why I need to buy Wonton Soup: Best freezer Containers EVAH!

Remember kids!

Recycling makes you Sexy!

doh! import error: will fix soon!