Emulating Fox Mulder

If you’re a fan of The X-Files you are probably familiar with this line from Fox Mulder:

     Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Now, Fox is referring to bile… my little fiasco.. well, it wasn’t bile…

The fur-kids have been fascinated with digging under a huge pine tree we have in the back yard. Totally all over it. Since they have a tendency to eat dirt (at least the puppies do) we have been discouraging this behavior. And have been pretty successful.

Until yesterday…

We have a few stray cats in the neighborhood and our yard is fenced in, but they still get in! I’ve found a few “expired” mice, baby squirrels etc and have not been pleased with these little gifts since puppies put EVERYTHING in their mouths.

Apparently, this little dirt spot under the tree is a considered a wonderful litter box for some strange and (judging from the state of the little deposits) unhealthy cat who has been leaving us a different kind of gift.

Qay found this little “gold mine” and before I knew what was happening, she had some kitty poo in her mouth! (now at this point, I had no idea it was kitty poo.. just something that she shouldn’t have in her mouth.. and I don’t think the following course of events would have changed even if I DID know what it was)

So I opened her mouth and pulled out a very squishy stinky glob of poo… EW! ! ! As soon as a I realized what it was, I flung it off my fingers … gagging! ! ! ! Ick!

So what does my sweet little angel.. the love of my life.. my dainty little puppy flower do?

yeah.. she picked it up again!

Ah the joy of puppies… so I go back in and pull it out… yeah, I know what you are thinking.. she would live through the experience but my GAWD! I just couldn’t let it happen or set up a precendent. In our house, if it’s not food, you DON’T eat it.

The whole time I’m walking in the house, with poo on my hands, trying to not get it on anything, grabbing a papertowel to attempt to remove the offending material, I’m thinking…Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

I mean seriously, to yell at her would be counterproductive… she wouldn’t know what I was yelling at her for! It took a good 10 minutes to get my hand smelling like it belonged to a human again….

sigh….

No one goes near that tree! Now if I could figure out how to keep the cats out…