As you may or may not know, I work for a mortgage company. (That's just buckets of fun these days with what is happening with the market!) Yesterday, I had a little closing snafu and of course it was up to me to fix it (since it was 4:25 and everyone bolts 5 minutes early... creeps) So what it boiled down to is I needed to get an updated escrow balance for a loan we were paying off the next day. So I call the company who shall remain nameless.. let's call them.. Pay-India-To-Advise-Mortgage (or PITA for short) I get the automated line after attempting to call for 10 minutes.. Busy! what kind of mortgage company has busy phone lines? PITA, of course. I go through the entire schpeel.. and finally get to the request for payoff.. Perfect.. while I'm dialing in my fax number, my friend Kelly comes over and mouths to me "Are you talking to someone? Will you be long?".. To which I respond "No, Kel, I'm just ordering a payoff". Have I mentioned that sometimes I hate technology? The little computer chip at PITA heard me speak and suddenly I hear in my ear "one moment while I connect you with a customer service representative". Crap.. there goes my payoff! I don't hang up because I'll never get through again. A very lovely young woman with a very thick Indian accent asks how she can help me... it goes something like this.. (hold on) Her: Thank you for calling PITAMortgage how may I help you? Me: Yes, Hi my name is Jennifer I'm calling from ABCMortgage company and I'm trying to verify the current escrow balance on an a mortgage that we are paying off tomorrow? Her: Yes, thank you I can help you with that. May I have the name of the company you are calling from? Me: ABC Mortgage Her: And your name please Me: Jennifer (Insert last name here) Her: Thank you. And how may I help you today. (ok.. that is wierd).. So we do this little information dance with her clicking her keyboard every time I give her an answer and a pause while she reads her script that I'm sure the computer is spitting out back at her. Then we get this... Her: Is this a refinance? Me: Yes. Her: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to release that information. Me: Ok, can you confirm the balance that I have, if I give it to you? Click click click more keyboard clicks... Pause.... Her: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to release that information. Me: Ok, can you tell me if there is a balance or if the balance has been used? Click click click more keyboard clicks... Pause.... Her: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to release that information. (Now I'm trying to be patient. She is just doing her job. I don't know why she can't release that info but whatever. It just means that my guy will have to wait to get his escrow funds back after his loan is payed off.. seriously all I need is one little figure confirmed) Me: Ok thank you. I just ordered an updated payoff. Can you tell me when I can expect it? Her: Oh! you ordered a pay off? I can help you with that. Click click click more keyboard clicks... Pause.... Her: May I have the name of the company you are calling from? I swear on all that I hold holy, this is really happening.. we went through the entire information dance again, borrower name, address, loan number, my name.. etc etc etc. Then... Her: Ok, thank you. Would you like a verbal balance? Me: Yes please. (What the hell, I've come this far.. and my payoff figure is outdated. Maybe I can salvage the rest of this closing for the morning.. damn I'm wishing I could have that escrow balance figure.) Her: There is a current principal balance of $108,897.91. You may remit payment to PITA Mortgage at blah blah blah address.. yadda yadda lane.. or you may wire funds to.. blah blah blah. You can expect your payoff statement to arrive via fax in the next 24 to 48 hours... Me: Thank you. Her: And at this time, I would like to advise you that there is a current escrow balance on this account of $4114.55. Is there anything else I can help you with today? Could you die? I mean really. My coworker, Ed asked me if that was a crazy laugh and was he going to need to run to the other side of the building?